Peace or Noel?

Oh the decisions.

Pretty much from the first Christmas Marc and I shared as newlyweds we have had a long running.... ummmm, shall we say difference of opinion. You see, we have never bought stocking holders. We have stockings. The boys even put their names on theirs with glue and glitter a few years ago. Since then I have really wanted to upgrade the stockings but they wont hear of it. They are so proud of theirs and they LOVE seeing them come out of storage every year. The holders are another story. You see I have ALWAYS wanted Peace.
Marc on the other hand has stuck to Noel.

So, are you getting the picture yet? We have both secretly tried to stick one or the other in the cart but no luck. We have even had strangers in the ilse try to throw in their two cents. LOL. Oh, I completely understand I could always add or re buy the holders. That is not the point!

A few years ago we had to make a decision that for lack of better words, STUNK! Apparently Marc felt my health was quite important and all else took a back seat. I had a two year old and a six year old at the time and to tell you the truth a LOT on my mind. We didn't really have the luxury of time on our hands. Go to doctor, doctor say bad words, Becky get surgery next week. Seriously, that's what I remember. Don't get me wrong I would do the same thing all over again. I made the right decision for me and my family.

Soon after that we had an opportunity that I had only had dreams about. Adoption. Wow. It took all of 5 minutes to decide we were in. Sign us up. Now, unless you know me well you might not believe the next sentence but I promise you it is the truth. We had the nursery done that night. Yes, that night. I mean really with a trip to Target how hard is it. Lets just say it was Pink.

My Katie was coming home. My Katie never came. As fast as she appeared she disappeared. The opportunity was gone. Now, you would think a young mother with two wild sons who did not know a day before she would be adopting would be ok with this. Some things in life you just don't get to understand. We were feeling a pain like nothing we had ever had before when we were struck with an unexpected judgement from someone we trusted and felt loved us. We were kicked when we were down. Hard.

Needless to say we have now been married 10 years and still have no stocking holders. Oh, Ill get them soon but for now they are in limbo. Sometimes they hang here, sometimes they hang here. Sometimes you may see Jimmy running around with one on his head. For now this is where they have settled.

Sorry so long. I have just had the "what ifs" lately. Like I said we don't get to understand everything that happens but we do get to grab on to the positive and appreciate the joys we are living here and now. For me their names are Marc, Tommy and Jimmy. Those three fill my heart to the brim. Now, I'm going to get off this silly computer and go kiss each of their sleeping faces before I fall into bed and thank God for them. Good night.